What makes it 90 rather than 100 is the lack of sex and my caving in. I decided I'd go easy on myself because break was pretty fucking great. Olivia, Grant, weed, Mickey's, mountains, Alice, weed, mountains. need I say more? Sex would haev been nice like I said but yeah that's another story.
About caving in, I gave in but only once, when am I going to reach the age where it is simply not okay to give in, even if it's "only once"?
What age is the age in which the phrase" I'm young, it's cool" just won't suffice anymore?
Anyway the quarter has just begun and I've already found myself too busy to think.
I sleep at night, sleep filled with intricate dreams, always a face..
And then I don't sleep at night, theological concepts, philosophical debates, selfishness, virtue, blah and z, plus chinese characters cloud my horizon, and the second sleep claims me I'm walking down the empty hallway to relieve my bladder.
That's that.
I've realized that you are not at all what I am looking for, but I am still immensely attracted to you.....Can Aleks and Patysse just make babies hold the fetus while Dalyce and Jesus continue to be best friends or whatever? And can Aleks refrain from touching other girls? No, can Aleks just be the man I want him to be? The one who can hold true to his convictions, back his arguments up, and do something with his life, do something productive, that involves his mind, and stop smoking so much weed? Okay yeah done.
I'm pretty indifferent to you, I just wish we could have had more sex. Seriously. And I do sort of kind of want to go to Austrailia with you, I just don't see how that's going to happen.
I guess that I am lonely but right now, with my studies, it doesn't seem suitable to feel that way.I've started writing for the Spectator, my debut story, on the Collision event happening tomorrow, I'm fucking excited/nervous/determined to prove myself as a competent, insightful, succint writer......yeah this blog isn't proving that.
Anyway, I have an interview with ArtsideOut's president in one half an hour.
I started reading Anna Karenina but Theology and Rhetoric have capitalized on my reading time.
We're reading "Deep River" in my God adn Evil class and Mitsuko, out of her insecurity/lack of place/lack of self-esteem/purpose, essentailly LACK OF SELF, is prone to seek out the destruction of others. Everyone in the class keeps talking about how selfish she is, but isn't selfish the same thing as self-interested? Doesn't self-interested involve self-esteem? Doesn't self-esteem involve self-actualization? Doesn't self-actualization involve purpose, pursuing that purpose? Yeah, Mitsuko has none of these. Wouldn't a selfiish person be completely indifferent to those around him, unreliant on others, independent of others? A selfish person would not need to compensate him/herself by destroying the good in others. A selfish person would receive compensation in his achievement alone. MITSUKO IS NOT SELFISH. God how I hate these altruistic, God-loving, Brotherly love preaching Jesuits sometime.
yeah and my Rhetoric class is going to fucking rock. Chris is a sci-fi, video game nerd from the South but don't stereotype because you wouldn't know it, he's a high fallooting Dr. but has us call him Chris, he talks faster than my mom on meth and that's damn fast, plus, Rhetoric is basically the secret to how the world works.
I'm proud to say that my soul is in recovery, forrealsies this time, I'm finally reaching a state of "untouchable", I'm bored of most of my friends right now because I've realized that they were formed by similar insecurities, I'm rising above that, okay i sound like an asshole but seriously, I'm trying to broaden my horizons, realize that life is not pain, so I'm pretty much over my friend's whining that the world is out to get him and that everything is relative and that compassion/service to others is his only goal in life, and my other friend's annoying insecure timid self, seriously, get some fucking self esteem.
And this is what happens when Dalyce doesn't have time to reflect on the scattered facets of her mind. At least I'm not depressed. At least I'm not depressed. Seattle U, I fucking love you.
Oh and I guess I should mention I need a job, my credit card is literally maxed out thanks to schoolbooks, plane tickets home, and bubbletea. yesssssssssssssssss.
And new music. I seriously have no ear for new music, I mean, I could spend a week telling you about the variety of new /old artists I've acquired from my college friends via flashdrive/mojo, and I just can't bring myself to listen to a word of most of it. s;jakal;jjkl;d
K by, interview time.
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